Case of the Mondays: Which MMA Fighter do you trust with your life?

Case of the Mondays: Which MMA Fighter do you trust with your life?

There is a popular proverb that holds true in the MMA world time and time again, that is “every dog has it’s day”. To define this for those who lack my superior intelligence, this means everyone will have good luck or success at some point in their lives. We saw this demonstrated with Matt Serra finding George St. Pierre’s chin. We saw this in another form when Matt Hamill was blessed with the his lucky little leprechaun in Steve Mazzagatti against Jon Jones, handing the LHW GOAT his only career loss by DQ. In the world of Mixed Martial Arts, anyone can win and anyone can lose at any given time.

Imagine yourself in a scenario of life or death, you have just lost more money than you make in a year by going 0-4 to start the main card (this hits home for many, I know). Your debt has reached the point where your only logical options are to flee the country or risk Huell and Kuby from Breaking Bad coming to kill you. It’s time to put up or shut up, lay it all on the line in hopes of a miracle climb back to even. The caveat in this scenario is the main event consists of an average fighter, not much more than a gatekeeper, versus whoever you choose to face them. In a sport where nothing is guaranteed and fights end in a clip of the chin, what fighter do you choose to save your life?

A few fighters come to mind initially. Jon Jones, but I am too worried he does something stupid in the cage if he even makes it there after last night’s bender. Khabib Nurmagomedov, but an average Michael Johnson wobbled him early. Michael Bisping, nah just kidding. Pound for Pound Kingpin Demetrious “Mighty Mouse” Johnson seems logical, but this is my life and 14-7-1 Tim Elliott came straight from the TUF house and took him to a 5 round decision. The guy I must choose is not even a member of the world’s premier fighting organization roster, although he should be. That man is Ben “Funky” Askren.

In Askren’s last 5 bouts, he has closed as a betting favorite of -4500 (that’s not a typo), -1050, -600, -2600, and -500. To no one’s surprise he has went 4-0 (1 NC, we’re still alive) winning in impressive dominant fashion. Ben makes a living beating up the average Mixed Martial Artist featured in the main event of this hypothetically life altering card. Nicknamed Funky from his unorthodox wrestling style that made him one of the most decorated NCAA/Amateur champions in history, he is unmatched by anyone on the planet in grappling. Added to this he has shown vast improvement in both Jiu-Jitsu skills and striking thus making him damn near untouchable in this matchup. Don’t get me wrong, an Askren main event will surely put me to sleep, but placing my life in his hands will assure I won’t be sleeping forever.

Leave a Reply