With the recent 2020 Olympic announcement of a bunch of nonsensical fucked up events (I’m talking to you 3 on 3 basketball, oh, and you mixed gender events) it begs the question: Could any format of MMA become an olympic sport? Additionally, if MMA was to become an Olympic event, who would represent their countries in an open weight division? Who would ultimately take home the gold?
The core skills needed by an MMA fighter are made up of many current olympic events. Wrestling in all forms, Boxing, and Jiu Jitsu are usually a foundation to any successful fighter. Since wrestling and boxing are already in the Olympics, the easy transition would be to use a triathlon format to determine the best MMA fighter in the world.
The scoring would be equally weighted by event with the “eye test” being used to determine who won (including but not limited to Stockton Rules). The actual scoring formula and format is too complicated for the simpletons that read WBB, so we will try to play the role of Cecil Peoples for this exercise. The fighter that has the best chance to win the majority of the events would determine our Gold Medal winner. Essentially, the most well rounded fighter should take Gold.
Here are the likely representatives of each country, and my predicted medalists:
USA: Max Holloway
This would have gone to Dan Henderson pre retirement, or Stipe Miocic if he didn’t have such a non-american name. The 209 would be next, but there comes a point where drug testing and minimal compensation would force them out of the competition. Luke Rockhold and Chris Weidman would also be top selections for the US, but Rockhold is an annoying shithead, and Weidman is struggling as of late. The United States of America will be represented by Max Holloway. Blessed is the “new age” of fighting. He is well rounded in each facet of MMA and would have success in this format because of that.
Ireland: Conor McGregor
Great, Conor you are representing your country in the only sport that they qualify in. Unfortunately, other than boxing, McGregor won’t fair well. While he will be proud to represent, and annoy, he probably won’t medal.
Brazil: Demian Maia
Given the amount of fighters from Brazil, this is a difficult pick. There are so many great strikers (Aldo, JDS, Anderson, Lil Nog), and so many great BJJ practitioners (Jacare, Maia). But, Maia would have an advantage over almost everyone in BJJ and is probably the best wrestler from Brazil. So while his striking will be an issue, he would fair well in the other two events. As a side note: In the transgender division, Cyborg would be the obvious pick and gold medal winner.
England: Michael Bisping
He has great boxing and great takedown defense. Not much takedown offense or BJJ, but this isn’t the most talented country anyway, so Bisping it is.
Cuba: Yoel Romero
Being able to pass his drug tests would be the biggest hurdle for Yoel. He already has experience and success in the olympics, and his striking has likely improved since then. He’s also already proven that he has the hidden serum that allows him to take steroids while still having clean tests.
Canada: Georges St. Pierre
GSP or Rory MacDonald? I’m going with GSP on this one only because he would avoid damage and being put in vulnerable positions. He also has a great jab, takedown, and armbar.
Since Vladimir Putin is unlikely to represent his country while being in office the only choices here are Fedor or Khabib. Khabib’s inability to strike in a very literal sense would eliminate him from the competition. Fedor, well he’s Fedor so he has to be here.
Gold Medal: Demian Maia
Remember there are only 3 events in this format. You only need to win 2 of 3. BJJ and wrestling go to Maia, although boxing may end up getting him killed. So as long as BJJ and wrestling come first, Maia is the winner!
Silver: Max Holloway
Well-rounded is key to success in a triathlon. You need to be good at everything, not just great at one thing. Because of that, Max takes home the silver, but wins Gold in 2024.
Bronze: Yoel Romero
The olympics are normally known for great athletes and even better scandals. Yoel Romero is a great athlete, and very scandalous ;). He also has great wrestling and actual olympic experience, so this will prove to be an advantage in him taking home bronze.