F’d Your Wife UFC Rankings

F’d Your Wife UFC Rankings

2017.5 is the year that the UFC finally gives in to trying to be a legitimate sport, and focuses solely on making money. This is finally the time that the UFC adopts the WWE’s business plan of making storylines to sell all fights. The ranking system is irrelevant and fights are decided on who can insult someone’s wife/mom/coaches the most. We see it time and time again. Someone wins the championship and immediately everyone on the twittersphere has fucked that person’s wife.

Looking at each champion from every division it would be hard to find a legit champ verse number 1 contender bout. Most champions are waiting for a formidable opponent, or at least someone to claim they’ve F’d their wife/mom enough that they are given a title shot. With only a few exceptions, this is currently the case for most champions.

Stipe Miocic

Stipe has done a great job of taking out the division, but he is realistically waiting for Cain to get healthy. Once Cain is healthy we get that Champ vs. #1 contender fight we’ve been waiting for. I guess this disqualifies my previous statements. Cain hasn’t claimed to have F’d Stipe’s wife and is the legitimate number 1 contender.

Daniel Cormier

Welp, this is where it starts. DC will fight Jon Jones. Yes, the unranked and undeserving Jon Jones. Jones resume likely should get him a shot, but he hasn’t fought for over a year. If we are going by rankings Alexander Gustafsson or Jimi Manuwa are the next in line. Sorry rankings you don’t matter.

Michael Bisping

Rather than fight, Bisping has decided to let the #1 vs. #3 middleweights duke it out. Bisping is choosing money and fame over helping legitimize the UFC. Bisping will fight in December vs. GSP. The unranked welterweight, coming off of an extended retirement will fight for the 185 belt. Rankings sure do matter.

Tyron Woodley

Poor Demian Maia. The guy has been waiting to finally get his shot after every one of his last 3 wins. He continues to fight with no questions asked. His reward is to wait. Wait to see if Woodley vs. GSP happens. Wait for Lawler to beat Cerrone and then watch Lawler get the title shot. Just say you F’d Woodley’s wife already Demian! That will get you your shot.

Conor McGregor

Conor quit the sport. That opens up the chance for Ferguson vs. Khabib to fight for the belt. Why hasn’t that fight been announced yet? Well, both fighters have too much to lose if they fight each other. Ferguson has claimed to have F’d Khabib’s wife, but that hasn’t helped him get a shot. Because of that, they are both going to wait for Conor, and wait, and wait.

Max Holloway

My guess is Max ends up fighting Frankie. Because of that, I have no real argument here. Unless of course, it goes to Cub. Cub just needs to say those magic 4 words about Max.

Cody Garbrandt

Faking an injury to get out of fighting TJ? Hoping to fight DJ in a super fight? These are what my brain tells me Cody is doing. Since Cody beat the #1 contender it only makes sense for Cody to fight TJ. My guess is Cody ends up fighting Aljamain Sterling because as we know rankings don’t mean shit and Aljamain is a great talker. I for one would be honored to claim to have F’d Cody’s wife though.

Demetrious Johnson

Let me preface this by saying DJ has cleared out the division. There isn’t really a logical fight for him until someone moves up the list. Because of that, the Flyweight division gets a pass.

So let’s ask ourselves something. What is the point of a ranking system if it isn’t used? The UFC goes through all of this trouble to try to promote fighter rankings, but then we see fights with champions vs. unranked opponents. Doesn’t make much sense to me. Let’s stick to the soap opera storylines and see who can insult their way into a title shot format and get rid of the dumbass rankings!

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